GO DEEPER
April 2005
article for The Collect, publication for St. Thomas Episcopal church,
Medina
During my senior year in college, I had a professor, Dr. Lowell Walsworth, whose students called him “Wally.” He taught communication theory, something I developed a passion for that year, and he was also an ordained Methodist minister. Wally drilled the definition of communication into our brains, and on the side, he taught us some great theology.
Wally’s classes usually took the form of interactive forums. Once, he read us a poetic passage that compared love to blood: that is, the body can’t live without blood, and neither can we live without love. Then he invited us into discussion. Whenever someone made a point that wasn’t quite fleshed out, that day or any day, Wally would reply, “Go deeper.”
Since then, “Go deeper” has become a mantra for my life. There’s always another layer we don’t understand yet, and that humbling realization is crucial for us as Christians. Just when we think we’ve got it all figured out, the Holy Spirit invites us to “go deeper.”
Easter is a season for deepening. We’ve been through the expectation of Advent, the joy of Christmas, the revelations of Epiphany, the earthiness of Lent, the painful trials of Holy Week, and the cleansing waters of the Resurrection. Now it’s time to meditate on what we’ve learned. We’ve started listening. Now it’s time to “go deeper.”
What are the difficult situations in your life? Who are the people you’d rather not deal with? See if you can look at people and situations in a new light. I once heard a neat segment from a version of the Prayers of the People: “God, be in our relationships with people we’ve grown weary of, and help us find a new name for them.”
To the youth I see each Sunday afternoon, I’d like to put forth a challenge: Listen, and then go deeper. Come to a youth group meeting without any expectations. Be open to whatever unfolds. Talk less and listen more. When someone speaks, give that person your utmost attention. If you feel fidgety, sit on your hands. If you feel like interrupting, stay silent. Give the Holy Spirit room to enter.
Once you’re truly listening, go deeper. Speak, not based on what you want, but on what the other person is feeling. Hold back the funny comments. Don’t change the subject. Imagine yourself in that person’s shoes. Good friends laugh and get crazy together, but good friends also know when to be quiet.
If a person speaks about a problem or difficult situation, resist giving advice. Instead, reflect back what the person said: “Sounds like you think your mom could’ve given you more leeway.” Ask clarifying questions: “Do you think he really meant it that way, or was that your interpretation?” Often, we arrive at our own conclusions through the help of listening ears and supportive tongues, and these conclusions are truer than the readymade solutions people could have handed us.
This Easter, continue to practice listening. And once you’re truly listening, “go deeper.”