MUSICAL MUSINGS
by Josh Hosler
September 28, 2004
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
I was jamming to the hits from thirty years ago when my wife came into the room. "Ooh, this is a good one," she said. "Who is it?"
I had my hands full of wet, soapy dishes. I had to admit I didn't remember the band's name, and that she'd have to look on my computer screen to find out. It turned out to be the Souther, Hillman, Furay Band.
"Hmm," she mused. "Maybe if they'd had a better name, they would've been successful."
No doubt! The band's sole top 40 hit was "Fallin' in Love" in 1974, and it peaked at #27. J.D. Souther went on to have a top 10 hit in 1979 called "You're Only Lonely," and his duet with James Taylor, "Her Town Too," also did fairly well ... but I still don't know for sure whether J.D.'s surname rhymes with "brother," or if the first syllable is pronounced like the word "south." Richie Furay charted a solo single in 1979--anyone remember "I Still Have Dreams"? Didn't think so. And Chris Hillman never charted solo. Sure, their name probably wasn't the only reason they didn't make it, but it probably helped.
Similarly, in 1994, a promising new R&B artist made the Hot 100 with her first single, "If That's Your Boyfriend (He Wasn't Last Night)." But how many Rhythmic CHR programmers saw her name on the label of the CD--Me'Shell Ndegéocello--and thought, "On second thought, my jocks can't pronounce this. I think I'll pass." The song was perfect for the format, but if the jocks couldn't be trusted to pronounce "free as a bird" in Swahili, would the listeners be able to ask for Me'Shell's album in stores? (Her duet with John Mellencamp, "Wild Night," doesn't count. That was always a Mellencamp record, and the only reason it climbed to #3 was that certain record store chains marked the cassette single down to 99 cents and placed it at the register. I was in retail at the time; take my word for it!)
Dave Marsh offered a cynical view on names in his New Book of Rock Lists (Fireside, 1994). He ranked the 40 best band names ever--AC/DC, Guns N' Roses--and the 40 worst, a much more fun list that included It's a Beautiful Day, Was (Not Was), and the New York Rock 'N Roll Ensemble. Yes, some of these groups were successful, but their names couldn't have helped much!
My friend Ethan joined a band recently called The Math & Physics Club. I complimented him on an excellent band name. He said, "Yeah, but then we heard about a band called Tennis Pro, and we had to kick ourselves for not thinking of that name first." Ethan has a kindred spirit in columnist Dave Barry, who noted at one point that Italic Squirrels would be a great name for a band.
Of course, the dilemma with names extends into the dilemma with genre labels. No self-respecting promoter would try to pitch a record to "anyone who'll play it," and no radio PD would aim for a target audience of Men and Women, ages 12-64. So when an artist comes along whose music fits somewhere between the labels, what are the artist's chances of success? Well, it depends. Lyle Lovett hasn't needed a host of airplay to sell his unique brand of country-rock. But in my last few months at Jones Radio Networks, one indie kept calling me about an instrumentalist who defied categorization. His song had been "a big hit in Denmark." You may wonder: did I ever listen to the record? Well, yes, but only because I got a weekly phone call asking if I'd listened to it yet.
It really is too bad that radio has come to this. After all, "a rose by any other name ..." If there were a ready-made radio format that played interminable synthesizer noodlings with elements of jazz, techno, and indistinct moaning, would this song have been a hit? Well, no, not this song. But money might have bought it a spot on someone's playlist for a few weeks.
So what's in a name? Quite a bit.
What are the best names out there right now? Here are my picks:
Terror Squad (who can forget that?)
Flogging Molly (it's all about the action verbs)
Alicia Keys (she's even a pianist!)
Bowling for Soup (I approve of silliness)
Scissor Sisters (especially since they're male)
Modest Mouse (great on so many levels)
And the worst?
!!! (I hear it's pronounced chk-chk-chk,
but ? and the Mysterians already tried that Victor Borge thing)
Houston (doesn't quite work like Chicago and Boston)
Hoobastank (worst since Geggy Tah!)
Jadakiss (hasn't Will Smith kicked his ass yet?)
Finger Eleven (ewwww!)
Dem Franchize Boyz (reminds me of That '70s Show, and a local restaurant
called That Pizza Place)
So how does one explain the phenomenal success of someone named Olivia Newton-John? (My little brother used to think it was a trio named Olivia, Newt, and John.) Or the ongoing career of a big, tough, macho rapper named Nelly? Well, maybe I'm full of it, but I know enough to know that I, personally, would require a pseudonym before I could be a star.
What was the #1 song on the day you were born? Click here to find out.